Jon Stewart JSEB head

 Jon Stewart Estrogen Brigade
 @  j s e b . j o n s t e w a r t . n e t

Now I know why I have soft, pouty, full breasts.
— Jon Stewart on the JSEB

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Melly haiku
Kathy haiku
Sara J. haiku
Chaney poem

Melly (JSS handle: Melly)

- April 19, 2002

O small hairy one,
You fake news temptress, please be
My moment of Zen.

I am an anchor,
Short, stout and fuzzy. Tip me
Over and hug me.

His lap calls to me.
Warm, soft and giggly it is.
Let us play horsey?

The desk divides us.
He is on one side of it.
I am far away.

O hair with gray streaks.
Poofy and delicious too.
Please can I touch it?

Giggle, giggle, laugh.
Jon giggles ev'ry weeknight.
I want to hug him.

Kathy, Senator of TSGTTJWSWOTDS

- February 3, 2001

Why must Jon Stewart
Be less than the perfect man
Through his chain smoking?

Otherwise he would,
In my humble opinion,
Be above all men.

I will forgive Jon
Because he delights so many
Through his perfect wit.

Not to mention the
Face that would launch a thousand
Ships in my Navy.

Sara J. (JSS handle: Sara J.)

He just grew on me
Better late than never, but
Now I can't escape.

I must be crazy
Thinking all those things I do
But can you blame me?

One has streaks of gray,
Of my two Daily favorites -
The other, glasses.

Stories in his eyes
Kept hidden from all the world,
Seen but never told.


O, Joneo, O Joneo! Wherefore art thou Joneo?
A Tragic Tale of a Girl Who Will Probably Never Meet the Man She Admires

Feb 19, 2002

O, Joneo, O Joneo! Wherefore art thou Joneo?
A Tragic Tale of a Girl Who Will Probably Never Meet the Man She Admires
by Chaney

Where is my dearest Jon?
He shall be in LA as I look on.
A half a day away from where I stand.
Never the chance to touch his hand.
I'd have a better luck with a guy named Don.

My darling Jon, please come near.
Losing you is my greatest fear.
Come to me, my anchor, my love!
I will deliver you chocolates called Dove.
Or maybe just a nice case of beer.

I cannot go to you my precious pet.
I can only tune into you on my TV set.
Shall the day come when we will meet?
Even if our distance is fifty feet?
Probably not even if I were a New York Met.

My Romeo of modern comedy may never show.
I understand that's quite a blow.
We may never set foot on the same ground.
But I promise to love him year round.
My love for him he shall never know.


Last updated October 20, 2004.



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