JSEB
version two. Retired on April 30, 2002.
Most subpages, links, and forms have been deleted.
A few have been kept for reference and archive purposes.
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T H E G O V E R N M E N T ( A B O U T U S )
The JSEB government is a group of people who has way too much time on its hands. Our duties include updating the site, designing changes, writing and publishing the newsletter, answering mail, scanning pictures, transcribing articles, etc. If you would like to help, please e-mail us. You may qualify for a senator position. To help us offset our web space costs (currently $179.40 a year), click here. If you have
any questions or comments, feel free to e-mail any one of us. JSEB Status: President, The Elder Name: Annie-Wan Kenobe (a.k.a. Annie of the SSS), annieJS@earthlink.net About Me: I didn't steal that Big Daddy movie. No, I swear, it just fell under my jacket lining and got tucked under my bra by accident. What do you mean you caught it all on tape? Hey . . . get your hands off of me. What are you doing? Let me go! I have rights! OWW! Police brutality! Police Brutality! LET ME GO YOU *"]@!(# PIG! @$^* YOU! @$^* YOU! I plead the fifth! I plead the SEVENTH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! Personality Traits: Odd, anal, sarcastic, silly, and serious. Things
I Like: Fall,
Korean food, crocuses, musicals, late night TV, garden tomatoes, MST3K, cooking,
pre-1985 Duran Duran, Indian Food, spring, John Irving, playing piano, driving
a stick, crusty fresh bread, dusk, good poetry, ducks on the water, birch trees,
my computer Dana, unpasteurized apple cider, Russell Crowe, new hobbies, orange
sherbet push-ups, Agent Scully, Brendan Fraser, and people who "get" me. Oh, and bad grammar, popup ads, 'N Sync, those little nubby chunks in sausage, chiggers, John Grisham, Henry James, liver, that crusty stuff that gets in the corners of your eyes, my old high school, Tom Cruise, people who think Jon Stewart is dumb, oysters, people who don't signal, journalists who say "an historic" when it should be "a historic," when friends ask me how my "Jon Tesh site" is going, jumping spiders, blue screen errors, lima beans, and people who ask me if I'm Chinese, then ask me if I'm Japanese, then finally say, "Well, then what are you?" JSEB Status: Throttlebottom Vice President, Dryer Lint Inspector Name: Nikki (due to pending legal action, Nikki may be called Katherine), lint@jseb.dreamhost.com About Me: Nikki has been known to cause a rare eye disease in infants. Discontinue use of Nikki if any of the following occurs: itching, vertigo, dizziness, tingling in extremities, loss of balance or coordination, slurred speech, temporary blindness, profuse sweating, or heart palpitations. If Nikki looks like she has an opinion, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head. Nikki may not be used in Cuba. Nikki may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds. When not in use, Nikki should be kept in an air tight container at room temperature. Failure to do so relieves the makers of Nikki, Wacky Products Incorporated, and its parent company, Global Chemical Unlimited, of any and all liability. Do not taunt Nikki. Nikki comes with a lifetime guarantee. Personality Traits: Animatagerimaidsachistic. Things I Like: Monkeys, cheese, my shampoo bottle collection, and bright lights. Things I
Don't Like: Popcorn. JSEB Status: Treasurer of Insanity, Webmaster Name: Chaney. Just Chaney, it's a Madonna thing. NewYorkette@webtv.com About Me: Hyper, yet bored most of the time. Funny, yet too sarcastic to bring actual happiness to anyone. Spends way too much time obsessing over a married man. Woo!!! I'm cool!! Personality Traits: Sadistic depressive with a smile on the inside. Things I Like: Anything 1980s. Music, movies, anything -- you name it, I love it. Things I Don't Like: Cheerleaders. You know the type that think they're all that and they rule and they are just so pretty and popular! Ugh! Drives me nuts!
JSEB Cabinet Status: Secretary of Odds and Ends Name: Krissy, JCreporter@aol.com About Me: Let's see...oh where to begin? I'm such an entertaining person, I could go on forever. Conceited? Never! Okay, maybe a little .... All you need to know is that I'm here to take care of all the dirty work ... what the other officers don't do, I slap on the gloves and get it done ... except toilets, I refuse to clean the toilets. Personality Traits: I think I pretty much cover the entire personality spectrum...I try to find a new trait every day, keep people guessing, ya'know? Things I Like: Good art (visual, literary, theatrical), music (especially the Goo Goo Dolls), photography, the cute things guys say when they like you (sorry, I know it's sappy), inserting messages with parenthesis (could you tell?), writing, and the thing I like best ... counting down the days until I graduate from high school! Things I Don't Like: Bad art and music .... Hmm, what else ... things people say that they think are funny but really aren't funny at all. People who don't know what I'm talking about, only because they are ignorant. People who think they know something, but really know nothing. People who are rude just for the hell of it. And most of all, people who don't find me funny. Oh, and those little fuzz balls that end up on your clothes after you wash em a few times.... JSEB Cabinet Status: Secretary of Jon's Quick-Witted Cynicism Name: Kelly, a.k.a Zoey, a.k.a "Are you on Crack?!", khohen1@msn.com About Me: I AM NOT ON CRACK . . . though I do show several of the signs . . . [twitch] . . . no I don't . . . [twitch] . . . . But seriously [twitch] . . . enough! Hmmm, little bit o' info -- I'm 21 and want to be a journalist primarily because I HATE most journalists. But alas, I'm in nursing school, and the last time I checked, yeah, not the same thing. Personality Traits: I'm a little kooky . . . no, okay, a lot kooky. Also, about 90% of what I say? Sarcasm. Pure, unadulterated sarcasm. I'm dripping, okay? It's fun . . . had to take a shower in silkwood. Saw Jon there . . . nekked Jon . . . yummy. Things I Like: Jon Stewart, writing, Denis Leary, humor, sarcasm, wit, Jon Stewart, chocolate pie, New York-style pizza, Dennis Miller, Jon Stewart, mint chocolate chip ice cream, Jim Carrey, and, oh yeah . . . Jon Stewart. And, on a serious note, anyone who has the guts to say what they mean and mean what they say without the fear of what people might think. Things I Don't Like: Sellouts, Britney Spears, NSYNC, O-Town, everyone else who is the member of a teeny-bopper type band, bad acting, people who think that they're funny but aren't, people who think that they know everything but know nothing, people who think they're better than everyone else, people who think their #2 bowel movements don't stink, people who spin the truth into something better for their own personal gain, people who don't know who Jon Stewart is, people who don't appreciate my sense of humor, people who cry wolf in the name of political correctness . . . . JSEB Status: Goddess of Web Design Name:
Manda E M E R I T U S
Miss Rebecca stepped down as president of the JSEB on September 10, 2000. She will occasionally descend from the great JSEB cloud in the sky and grace us with her divine presence. JSEB Status Emeritus: President, Founder Name: Miss Rebecca, Knkysalmon@aol.com About Me: I'm a student at a small private high school in Ohio. I plan on attending college at the John Jay University of Criminal Justice, getting a degree in forensic psychology in hopes of becoming a Profiler. Personality Traits: Cynical, judgmental, sarcastic, witty, intelligent and an egoist. Things
I Like: Jon, of course. Writing short stories, tiramisu, hating golf,
being frustrated over an X-Files episode, reading psychology books, Nicholas
Lea and/or David Duchovny in tight jeans, arguing philosophy with my friends,
being sarcastic, golf carts with names on Put-In-Bay, British accents, Kenneth
Branagh, running the JSEB, Dante and all his levels of hell, Van Gogh, lounge
music- especially Combustible Edison, and standing by the lake when it's so
windy that the air tickles the back of your throat when you inhale. Miss Allison stepped down as Minister of Brainwashing of the JSEB on April 29, 2001. She will occasionally descend from the great JSEB cloud in the sky and grace us with her divine presence. JSEB Status Emeritus: Vice President, Minister of Brainwashing Name: Allison, Lanark1440@aol.com About
Me: "I
want to be in the land of cotton, where olden times are not forgotten, look
away! look away! look away Dixieland." Yes, so for those who are not familiar
with that, I'm from Georgia. I'm more of a Scarlett O'Hara than a Melanie Hamilton,
but I'm working on it. Oh, and I have hair like Sarah Jessica Parker (of which
I have a love/hate relationship with). Personality
Traits: So if
you couldn't deduce what I meant from the preceding statement, I'm wry, easily
amused, very vain, lazy (unless motivated), very passionate about things I love
(music and writing mainly), and a big procrastinator (but I get things done!),
I must have everything organized and I must be in control ... don't I sound
lovely? Things
I Like: Music:
playing, writing, listening - I listen to and love Oasis, the Verve, Travis,
the Grateful Dead, Beatles, Rolling Stones, the Who, the Jam, Bob Dylan, Phish,
and Dave Matthews, etc etc. I also love writing columns, novels, screenplays,
whatever. I love films and filmmaking. I hate politics, but this election has
me all fired up. I love to read ... I love humor ... I love spring ... and summer
because there's no school ... I love big cities (because I'm not from one) and
I love, I mean I LOVE all things British -- an anglophile am I? No doubt about
it. And, II love my shoddy EPL soccer team, MAN CITY! I'm utterly Mad Fer It.
TV shows I love: Magnum, P.I., Northern Exposure, Sex and the City, and of course,
last but CERTAINLY not least ... Jon Stewart (the man, the myth) and the delightful
Daily Show. Things I Don't Like: Pushy people, insects, bad fashion, and Republicans.
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