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 Jon Stewart Estrogen Brigade
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Now I know why I have soft, pouty, full breasts.
— Jon Stewart on the JSEB


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The True Meaning of the JSEB
by Annie-Wan
December 9, 2002

I did a little research these past few weeks to determine the true meaning of The Jon Stewart Estrogen Brigade. Armed with a heavily abridged American Heritage Dictionary from 1983 and determined to write this article with absolute dedication to not moving from my computer desk, I embarked on a wondrous definitional journey.

Jon -- Not in my dictionary. Had no intention of getting up to get the slightly larger dictionary. I did, however, find Jonah, a man whose claim to fame is having been unceremoniously swallowed by earth's largest mammal and spat out by same. Is there deeper meaning in this? Well, aside from at least one excellent Clinton/Lewinsky joke, I think we can look at this more critically. JON IS NOT JONAH.

Stewart -- Not in there. Too tired to even move a few inches and reach for the thesaurus. I did, however, find steward, defined as, "One who manages another's property, finances, or other affairs."

Estrogen -- "Any of several hormones, produced chiefly in the ovaries, that act to regulate certain female reproductive functions and maintain female secondary sex characteristics."

Brigade -- "2. A group of persons organized for a specific purpose."

Conclusion: Men join the JSEB because they like Jon. (Note: I have no data on the goals of hermaphrodites in the JSEB.) For women, the Jon Stewart Estrogen Brigade is a group of persons organized for the specific purpose of organizing affairs with Jon with the goal of stimulating female reproductive functions and the organs related thereto. What does this mean in simpler terms?

It means we're trying to have sex with Jon. (This is the kind of astuteness that got me the presidency. Nothing is unpossible in this great countribly.)

Professor Annie-Wan Kenobe, President
PhD, MD, JD, MBA, and lots of BS

 

Last updated September 2, 2002.


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